Returning to Normal Life

Passing a kidney stone ranks in the top 10 of pain caused by medical issues, along with things like cancer and childbirth, as well as other crap everyone should be thankful that they haven't had the pleasure of dealing with.

I passed 3 stones over the last 5 weeks, and it wasn't like the experience of the previous ones made the next ones any easier. They just made me aware that I probably wasn't going to die from this. Before I got the first one diagnosed in the ER, I thought I might have been dying, because that's how intense the pain was. There are some forms of pain the human body was not meant to be able to deal with.

As I was passing the 3rd stone, I referred to it as a "stone fragment" because that's what I thought it should have been. I had lithotripsy done 5 days before that in an effort to crush the stones into sand...and well, that didn't work out quite the way it should have. Doctors sometimes tell you the best case scenario, and if something worse (or more painful) happens, they're happy as long as it gets you past it.  In my case, the remaining stones were probably reduced in size, making it possible to pass them, but no less painful. I spent about 36 hours in agony on the 2nd day after lithotripsy and another 12-18 hours on the fifth day. The third stone was roughly the same size as the first one, so the use of the term "fragment" could not have been more wrong.

On Friday, I was elated to find out that I had no remaining stones left--that the ones I had formed were all successfully expelled in the week following my lithotripsy. I would like to be able to say that I feel like I'm 100%, but that's not actually true. I get tired really easily, and I'm hoping that will improve quickly. A little bit of me has been smacked in the face with the cold, hard reality of my own mortality. One does not go through three stones being passed without taking a moment to pause and reflect about the human body's capacity to suddenly betray you.

So, I'm sitting here in my mid 40's, grateful to be alive, but also conscious of the fact that being alive is a gift that should not be squandered. And I'm sleeping and resting a lot right now, and that's ok.

See you back out there, sometime soon.