Swimming is a full contact sport

I completely clobbered somebody during the swim of my triathlon on Sunday, and while I have no remorse about the situation, I wish that it hadn't happened.

Let's assume this person was a woman...because it sounds more dramatic that a close to 200 pound 42 year old man comes up from behind a pack and swims right over the top of a woman who might be about half his size and possibly a few years younger than him.

The details of the situation are as old as the day is long--I was in wave 6 of the triathlon.  I had the 9th fastest swim of the day, and the field was 336 people.  The waves were sent off 3 minutes apart, and the swim was advertised to be half a mile long.  In the course of that swim, I first had to pass a crowd of people which appeared to be the intersection of the previous two waves, which I swam through at about the halfway mark.  It was roughly equivalent to playing human dodgeball.  The crowd that I passed through thinned out after another 200 yards or so, and I just had to deal with a less dense smattering of swimmers as I rounded the buoy into the last third of the swim.

All was going fine until about 100 yards out from the finish, as I was breathing to the left, someone smacked into my right side after I'd already committed to a stroke.  The result was the swimming equivalent of a full body slam, and I just kept on my way.  The nearest I could tell, this person was swimming diagonally across the course, and literally came out of nowhere.  There was no forewarning, there was no intention to hit another swimmer, and lastly, there was no stopping to apologize.  I kept going to get to the end of the swim.

This doesn't happen to me every triathlon--it probably doesn't even happen once a year.  But it happens frequently enough that you would think there would be some way to deal with it.  You can go through any number of scenarios to alleviate that situation, but the simple motivating factor is that the sport of triathlon does not care about the swim.  Any race director's primary goal with the swim is making sure that everybody gets through it alive.  The majority of competitors vying for the top spots in triathlon have grown accustomed to the swim not really mattering in where the final tally winds up at for determining who won.

I've had visions of race directors setting up a "fast swimmers wave," where anyone who might be in my situation could swim ahead of the crowds, making the swim more pleasant for all.  This vision is quickly destroyed by the reality that triathlon has a requirement that everyone in an age group leave at the same time to ensure proper competition for age group awards.

I've also had visions of triathlon balancing the sports more equitably.  On Sunday, my swim took 12 minutes, the bike was 46 minutes, and the run was 40 minutes.  How would everyone like to do a sprint triathlon that starts with a 2 mile swim?

Or an Ironman triathlon that's a 12,000 meter swim followed by an 80 mile bike ride and a marathon run?  People would die.  Literally.

There's no fixing this, and there's no need to fix it.  There's no possibility I'm ever going to be part of the elite/pro wave that would take me out of this scenario, so I'm just going to go about my business, and probably be the source of the legend of 40-44 male wave of swimmers hell-bent on swimming right over the top of everyone in their way.

In the meantime, I'll just work on my spotting, and try to avoid as many full body slams as possible.

Met expectations

True to form in Long Beach, a homeless guy scowled at me for not holding his bike up for him shortly after I crossed the finish line at the Long Beach triathlon this morning.  Frankly, I didn't realize what he was asking, nor was I prepared to do it--and when he became ornery, I just walked away.  I feel like this is one of those times when someone is being unrealistic about the outcome of the events that happen in life, and it's something my coach has talked about recently.  In this case, this guy had no friggin' clue what he was doing there, and expected people who had just swum, biked, and run to hold up his bike for some reason.  The expectation was that we're a friendly bunch of people, and would all probably help him out (and likely would have in different circumstances), but this guy got really pissed off that he didn't get what he wanted.

There was zero possibility that I was going to have an earth-shattering, excellent race at today's triathlon.  My life has been complicated by recent excessive work hours, ever-extending commutes on the 405, and the generalized mess that happens to us all.  I did not toe the line this morning expecting to have the fastest race of my life.  My discussions with Joanna this week were more about having fun and pushing myself this morning than they were about race performances.  The one thing we did talk about was that, even though this was just a sprint tri, there would be plenty of opportunity to go out too fast and get myself in trouble.  My plan was to be controlled at the start of the bike and the start of the run and build into it from there.  Half my brain agreed with that, and the other half was thinking "how much could a sprint triathlon possibly hurt?"  My expectation was that I would probably walk away without causing substantial damage to myself as long as I didn't race like a crazy bat-out-of-hell.

The swim was pretty normal.  I took off in the front, and the pack started at about 10, quickly dropped to 4, and then I pulled past the fourth guy and hung out with the lead 2 swimmers for the rest of the swim.  At the final buoy, they pulled away and I was in no condition to go with them.  I exited the water 3rd, and ran the 250 yards from the ocean to the transition zone, in the sand.  250 yards.  In. The. Sand.  Let's just say I haven't been practicing running in the sand.

I transitioned, and nothing major happened.  On the first loop, I was initially conscious that I was pushing below my previous best half-iron wattage, and decided that I needed to build into the power. I caught my rear wheel in a rut, and managed to upright myself without a crash.  The Long Beach tri is along some roads that don't necessarily need repair, but have some problems for cyclists.  At the turn at the Queen Mary, there are 3 speed bumps that will take you out if you don't slow down and deal with them correctly.  They had people yelling at you to make sure you did.

The second loop was crowded--the majority of the athletes had gotten on the course by this point, but it went fine--I continued to build the power, and ended up with an average higher than my best half iron, but shy of my best Olympic distance, and this was a sprint tri, with a 14 mile long bike.  I knew that this was not that I had saved too much for the run--my legs felt like they should prior to a triathlon run when I'm in shape.

So I transitioned to the run, which was a 5k.  And I was not terribly surprised to see that my first mile was right at nine minutes.  My legs were heavy, and I was tired.  I realized that I can't remember the last time I did a brick workout.  This was a really good brick workout!  The next mile was about the same, and on the third mile, I was able to add in a little more speed.    I think it was around an 8:30 or so.   Happily, I could feel a burn in my glutes, which meant that my running form was in good shape.  My previous issues with running have culminated in a focus on getting that more major muscle group to fire correctly.

Several times on the run, I had an internal voice telling me to smile.  I smiled inside, even if it didn't show up on my face.  I was beating myself up physically, and that meant that I was achieving my goal of challenging myself for the day.  I walked away from this race this morning with a 10th place in my age group, but feeling good about getting out there and doing it.

My unreasonable expectation?  Thinking that I could walk away from a triathlon without hurting.  Triathlons of any distance, done at practically any speed, hurt if you push them.  That's what we're all out there for.

Looking forward to my next one!

October is national depression and anxiety awareness month

I'm writing this post in large part because May is not the recognized month for depression and anxiety awareness, and it's May, and October is--well, October is a long way away.

Check out http://www.projectsemicolon.org

About a month ago, I went in for my annual physical, and was pleasantly surprised to be greeted by the nurse and asked if I had any history with depression, or if I was feeling sad.  This was one of the standard intake questions, which was recently added to the list of things they ask about for physicals. I responded that I had, gave a brief history, and then remarked that it was refreshing that they are now doing this.

Since ending taking Klonopin at the beginning of this year, I had a resurgence of my issues with insomnia, anxiety, and depression.  The triad of these conditions is common, and if you can defeat one of them, you can generally break the cycle of each of them feeding into the other.  My path, once I figured that out was to determine how to deal with my depression as I had in the past.  Klonopin and some cognitive behavorial therapy in addition to my workouts kept everything in check for a while. And then it was gone.

I experimented with taking Turmeric, which seemed to provide a boost to my mood, but I quickly found out that there is an interaction between turmeric and aspirin that can cause a substantial risk of bleeding.  I stopped the turmeric.  And then I decided that I needed to enlist my doctor.

One of the things that I am commonly asked about by people who don't know me is if I'm getting enough exercise, because "exercise is the best cure for depression."  Those of you who know me are probably picturing me laughing hysterically at this.  I generally take a step back, breathe, and then explain that I'm a triathlete, that I often get 2 workouts in a day, and I have had ups and downs with depression throughout my time as a swimmer and now in my adult life as a triathlete.

Exercise is a mood booster and has been shown to be effective in combatting mild depression as effectively as some drugs.  It has its limitations--for more severe cases of depression, exercise cannot be the only line of defense.   A well written article on the benefits of exercise for depression can be found at http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/03/for-depression-prescribing-exercise-before-medication/284587/ 

The problem with this is that exercise is not a panacea.  The details of the article touch on this, but the article also goes on to say that depressed patients are likely to lie about the amount of exercise they get.  It sums up the problem that some depressed patients have with their relationships with their doctors, therapists, and psychiatrists.  It hints that medical professionals may first think that the depressed individual must not be getting enough exercise if that exercise is not helping.

At one end of the spectrum is the existence of "Post Ironman Depression Syndrome," which is a very real, very physical, and simultaneously very mental encapsulation of the relationship between exercise and depression.  Put simply, in the time following an ironman triathlon, the athlete's body has to rest and recover.   This resting and recovering is a change to the standard amount of exercise they have been getting up to that point, and when combined with the completion of a task that was likely their huge goal they had been working up to, the athlete is left without direction.  Without direction, and in the let-down that occurs in the phase of "What do I do next?", depression ensues.  I experienced this first-hand following both my first Ironman, and my last.  With my first Ironman, I had initially decided to go on and continue with racing at that distance in the future, having a second ironman on the schedule for 6 months later.  I wound up with appendicitis, and then two surgical hernias that would take over a year to get past.  Complicating my post-ironman-depression was a year that I spent predominantly on the couch. My second ironman motivated me--I took a few weeks off, and started working with my triathlon coach to prepare for my third ironman, which (to date) has been my last.  At this race, I achieved what I had previously set as my lifetime goal for that distance of race (sub 13 hours), by going 12:44 on that day.

The experience of achieving this goal was both satisfying and elating.  It also led to a lack of direction.  Joanna, my tri-coach, largely saved me from a complete downward spiral by not allowing me to take a month off of training after this race.  I got a week--and then returned to training after that time, and that was about right.

Triathletes, and I imagine a lot of athletes in other sports, have a tendency to bury themselves in the process.  The amount of training required is extreme, and being involved in it can mask the symptoms of depression.  Life can often go on autopilot, and recognizing the symptoms of depression can be difficult.  If your life has become about waking up, going on a workout, going to work, going on a workout, going back to work, going home and going to sleep, that can be ok.  If you experience no joy from that process, that's probably not ok, in particular if you have experienced joy in the past from it.

Help is available, but getting proper help can be difficult to achieve.  It's my opinion that the state of mental health care in this country is poor.  I'm currently on an antidepressant (Wellbutrin) that I was prescribed by my primary care physician, largely because I told him it had worked for me in the past--which it did in the late 90s.  The benefit of Wellbutrin is that I can train on it, and it doesn't make me lethargic or cause weight gain like SSRIs (Zoloft, Celexa, Prozac) can.  The problem is that my primary care physician is reticent to prescribe it at the dosage I was on previously for a long period of time, which means I need to find a psychiatrist.  And I have health insurance, so that shouldn't be a problem, right?

Wrong.  My health insurance carved out mental health care to a different program, and my experience with that is that there are a lot of really bad psychiatrists on that plan.  Effectively, good psychiatrists don't sign on to be bound by cheap health insurance, at least in the Los Angeles area, and the ones who I've encountered on this plan either phone it in on a daily basis, or are simply bad at what they do.  I have wound up effectively self-medicating when seeing one of these psychiatrists in the past.  A patient should not be in a position where he goes to a psychiatrist and that doctor asks what he thinks he should be on, and then breaks out a prescription pad and is done with him.  Patients go to doctors to get well, and doctors should use their expertise to help them to get well.

So, the plan at this point is that I'm going to mail my primary care doctor a list of the psychiatrists that are on my plan, and hopefully he will be able to recommend one of them.  To add to the list of frustrations, I have to snail mail this list to him, because the system at his office does not allow email attachments, and he wants a full list that cannot be transcribed to simple text and fit within the confines of the email size limit.  Ultimately, this limitation was put in place by his office due to HIPAA.  Thanks, HIPAA--I'm sure that something you've done has helped somebody, somewhere, but for the most part, you're a pain in the ass.

I have digressed.  If you're depressed and you're an athlete, please reach out to get some help, and do not take an explanation from anyone that you should be happy simply because you're working out. You don't have to live this way, and while difficult to do, navigating the health system in the United States is possible, and can dramatically benefit your quality of life.

Traveling Triathlete

Flying home from DC today, I got asked the question if I was in town for a triathlon while clearing security in Dulles--I was easily identifiable as a triathlete today since I had a speedo backpack with a bike helmet hanging off it. In the 20 seconds or so that I had to converse with this guy, I responded "No, I was here on business, but I travel with my bike." And he asked if I had a special box for my bike, and my answer was that I've got 2 bags so I can check my bike without paying a bike fee.

It occurred to me that very few people will ever attempt to travel with a bike. It's the realm of professional triathletes, professional cyclists, and nut-jobs.  I fall in the latter category, but for very good reason. Being able to stay focused on my workout routine keeps me grounded mentally, and being able to ride the bike I ride all the time makes it an experience that doesn't hurt, because my bike fits me, and I have a power meter to take all of the guesswork out of training properly. I suppose that last statement pushes me into the nut-job category.

I have had an uncountable number of people ask me why I just don't rent a bike. Or buy a cheap bike and give it to someone after I'm done traveling. The answer to both questions is that it won't fit correctly, and I'll be in pain and not ride it much.

I thought it might be worthwhile to put together my thoughts on traveling with a bike on today's airlines. Maybe it'll help someone.

Number 1:  Traveling with a bike is a huge pain in the ass. Accept this fact, or just don't travel with a bike.

Number 2:  Bike fees vary dramatically between airlines. In general, the more major airlines charge more to check a bike bag, while the smaller airlines charge less. It runs counter to a lot of ideas going on with the nickle-and-dime mentality of lower cost airlines, but just do your research before you buy your plane ticket. The bike fee is as much as $300 each way on some airlines, but it can be as low as $50 each way on others.

Number 3:  The mythological age of a bike fee being waived by a nice person at the check in counter ended a long time ago--longer ago than when I started flying with a bike.  I read about some of these occurrences once in an encyclopedia.  Ok--just kidding, it was on the web, but those write-ups seemed to be dated back into the 90s, if not earlier.   Do not kid yourself into thinking you can get a full sized bike fee waived because you're a nice person, or because you have airline status, or because you have a higher class of service ticket.

Bike packed for shipping

Number 4:  It is possible to reduce the amount you have to pay to transport a bike by selecting bike bags that fit within the normal size requirements for luggage. I'm currently using a set of bags sold by Ruster Sports. Your wheels go in one bag, and your frame goes in another bag after you substantially disassemble the bike. This process is not for the faint of heart.  I'm an engineer, and I like working with tools. It took me 3 hours to disassemble my bike and pack it up the first time I did it, and I now have the process down to 45 minutes. I have not been charged a bike fee using the bags so far anytime I have flown with them--but there are airlines that will charge you a bike fee regardless of the size of the bag if they identify that there is a bike in the bag at all. And if you're traveling with a bike, it's obvious--again, do not kid yourself about this.

Number 5:  Wherever you're traveling to has a different rhythm and feel for how cycling goes than wherever you live.  I've done a number of trips to the DC area. I have been screamed at for riding on the road by drivers within eyesight of signs posted that say "Bicycle Friendly Community." There are places you can ride in DC and get a decent workout in, and there are places you can ride and just puddle along, and then there are places you just shouldn't ride at all. There are differences in body language on the bike that you really don't notice until you're riding with other people from the area, but for the most part, if you're friendly and well meaning, you'll be fine.

Number 6:  Something is going to go wrong with traveling with your bike--not all the time, but more often than you'd like it to. You should expect TSA to inspect your bike bag. I get a note saying they did every time I fly with it. I once had my bike not make it on a direct flight to a triathlon I was doing, even though my suitcase did arrive. I was reunited with my bike something like 18 hours before the race. On this past trip, a piece fell out of my rear wheel hub, rendering my bike inoperable. Before I found this piece a day later, I'd gone to two bike stores to purchase a new one, and was told that it was a special order part that would take 7-10 days to arrive--my trip was 10 days long, making it questionable whether I would get the part before I left.

Number 7:  Your bike may or may not come up on the same luggage carousel as all the standard luggage. Ask when you arrive, and be prepared for the answer you get to occasionally be wrong.

Number 8:  Get a travel hand pump with a pressure gauge built into it--one that reads pressure as you're pumping, just like your floor pump does. Once I bought one of these, I didn't dread pumping my tires up while on travel. Try the "Topeak Road Morph G with gauge" pump (http://www.amazon.com/Topeak-Road-Morph-Bike-Gauge/dp/B000FI6YOS/ref=sr_1_1?s=sporting-goods&ie=UTF8&qid=1458499904&sr=1-1&keywords=topeak+road+morph+g+bike+pump+with+gauge)

The bike bags I'm currently using

Number 9:  Pack extra clothes along with your bike, but put them inside of a pillow case you don't mind getting bike grease on. You're going to be limited in space because you're occupying some of your checked luggage with a bike. The bike, even though it is big, is lighter than the 50 pound max you can check, so you can make use of this.

Number 10:  Assess your situation before deciding what type of bike bag to buy. A single hardcase may be right for you. Or you may fall on the other end of the scale with a total breakdown and rebuild like me. And buy your bike bag well before the first trip you'll use it on, and make sure you follow the directions on how to pack your back in it. Once you weigh the balance of cost vs. time spent breaking down and rebuilding your bike, you can figure out what you want.

Even with all of this mess, having your bike with you makes long trips away from home more tolerable. Even on the days that it's been snowing and I haven't been able to ride, just seeing my bike in my hotel room helps to ground me.

Turmeric--the next new (or ancient) wonder drug?

I've slept normally for the past 5 days. This is a statement that most people would probably take for granted--for me, it's an accomplishment that rivals any achievement I have had in recent years.

Turmeric--I actually take standardized pills--you would
have to eat 7 tablespoons of this stuff
 a day to get an effective dose

Back in the middle of December, I went in to a new doctor in order to have a lump on my finger assessed--and went through the normal form-filling-out, list all your medications and relevant medical history, and I did what I should have, which was to write down that I was taking Klonopin for anxiety and aspirin for my heart defect. End of story--or so I thought, while sitting in the waiting room. My new doctor greeted me in the exam room, and then immediately voiced his concern about the Klonopin. Recent studies had shown a link between the use of benzodiazepines (the class of drug that Klonopin is in, along with Xanax and a few others) and the potential for development of Alzheimers and dementia later in life. The lump on my finger was a ganglion cyst (or commonly known as a bible bump) and required no treatment, and would only need surgery if it became painful.

I had considered getting off of Klonopin for a while at this point--my pattern of usage was that when traveling, I would take it every night to sleep, and when not traveling I would taper down to something more reasonable. Due to my difficult schedule last year, this turned into basically taking it every night for the time between August and December. The dosage I was on was small compared to heavy benzo users, and larger doses are more likely the cause for concern with the development of dementia later in life.

The science behind the study is questionable--there is something fundamentally wrong with trying to establish a causal relationship between a drug and a condition for a drug that is used as the first line of defense to treat that condition in most cases. The authors of the study suggest they eliminated this relationship by only looking at people who took benzos more than 5 years before their Alzheimers or dementia diagnosis. Other studies point to the development of symptoms of dementia or Alzheimers as much as 20 years before diagnosis. The flaw in the study is apparent to people such as myself, without a medical degree, and the comments to the published studies between people who are obviously medical doctors or medical researchers are as vehement as Facebook posts about the current slew of presidential candidates.

To get straight to the point, I got off of Klonopin partly because of the possibility of this linkage, but more because it left me feeling run down and tired at times--take too much Klonopin too many days in a row, and you're in a brain fog. Take too little and you can't sleep. Take the right amount for too long, and you grow a tolerance to it, requiring more, resulting in brain fog. It was time to be done with it.

The withdrawal period was ridiculous. I did not sleep for 3 straight nights trying to go cold turkey as my doctor suggested. I then decided to taper off of the drug for about 3 weeks. I was encouraged to use melatonin to aid in getting to sleep, starting at 3 mg, and increasing it until I actually got to sleep. I wound up at 9 mg, well under the maximum dosage my doctor suggested of 20, but I was having problems sleeping through the night, often getting 3 to 5 hours of sleep and not being able to go back to sleep. Three weeks after my final dose of Klonopin, I talked with my doctor again, and he suggested hitting myself with another dose of melatonin when I woke up in the middle of the night, which allowed me to sleep a more reasonable amount of time. I was back to my usual 6.5 to 7.5 hours of sleep at night, even if it was broken up.

My saving grace came from an unusual source. Somebody in my Facebook feed posted an article describing the use of Turmeric as an antidepressant. The study done to prove this pitted the use of Turmeric against pharmaceutical antidepressants in a controlled scientific manner. The conclusion of this study was that Turmeric (when taken at the right dose, with black pepper to aid in absorption) was equally as effective as SSRI meds, but without the litany of side effects. I am still in the middle of the two to four week period that it takes for Turmeric to reach full effectiveness, but I am seeing improvements in my sleep pattern and my mood that rival what I have seen before when on the various antidepressants I have been prescribed throughout my life.

I've had some decent workouts in training for triathlon--but a necessary precursor to heavy training is having the rest of your body and your life in order. I'm getting there--I'm starting to enjoy my workouts again, and I'm starting to look forward to life with some optimism. It's really amazing to me that the solution to the trinity of depression, anxiety, and insomnia may very well be this yellow spice consumed for ages by people in another part of the world.